Discipline and Positive Reinforcement
Discipline and positive reinforcement are proven parenting techniques that can help you raise happy, healthy kids. However, each child is unique and the best practices are tailored to their needs.
For example, if your child is always a tantrum starter, try to focus on why they’re acting out and how they can change their behavior.
Be Consistent
Consistency is a crucial part of raising children. It means having the same expectations of your child regardless of the situation or whims. This can be difficult, especially when life gets busy or exhausting.
Consistent parenting means being clear about your rules, boundaries, and values. This can be a time-consuming process, but it is essential to helping your child learn and grow.
It is also a great way to show your child how to behave well. This will help your child to internalize the rules and values that you have set for them.
When you are consistent with your behavior and response, it makes your children feel safer. This can also make them less likely to resist you.
Another important component of consistency is positive reinforcement. This can be something as simple as a sticker chart where your child gets a reward when they meet certain goals.
For example, your child may be able to earn a sticker each time they get ready for school and you will then give them a treat once they’ve reached the required number of stickers. This will encourage your child to want to keep doing what they’re doing, which is key to growing their confidence and character.
Change isn’t going to happen overnight, it usually takes about three weeks to make changes stick, so brace yourself for a long haul. But if you remain firm and consistent, your child will begin to follow these new rules and behaviors will start to improve.
Be Kind
Kindness is an important social skill for kids to learn. They learn it by watching other people and emulating their behavior, including their tone, expressions, body language, and actions.
It is not uncommon for children to learn kindness through their parents or caregivers. They may watch their parents give compliments, help others with chores, carry a heavy load, open doors, hold the door for someone, or donate items they don’t need.
As kids grow older, they also begin to consider their own emotions and intentions. By age 7, children start to evaluate kindness in adult-like ways, judging it based on consequences and the person’s feelings 3.
Moreover, children who learn to be kind tend to be happier and healthier than those who don’t. Research shows that kindness decreases stress, improves mental and physical health, increases self-esteem and interpersonal skills, and enhances positive relationships 7.
However, it is not always easy to be kind. Some people are more self-centered and may feel that they have no place in being kind to others, especially their own family members.
One way to be kind is to take time for yourself every day. This will allow you to relax and de-stress from your daily stresses. Try meditating, reading a book, listening to music, or doing something creative.
Another way to be kind is to be aware of others’ needs and make an effort to meet them. This can include bringing a friend to dinner, giving a neighbor an extra seat on the bus, or helping an elderly person with yard work or groceries.
Be Firm
Discipline is the process of teaching your children the correct way to behave while preventing them from making bad choices. This is crucial for their development and their overall well-being. It is also the way in which you can set and enforce limits, teach them to self-regulate and develop a strong relationship with them.
The key to disciplining your kids effectively is firmness. This means you get on their eye level, speak clearly and firmly in a voice that conveys authority, and you don’t give in to their demands when they’re wrong.
However, being firm does not mean that you should always be angry or snarling at your children. In fact, being firm without anger is much better for you and your child’s relationship.
Another important aspect of effective discipline is the use of positive reinforcement. Positive reinforcement is when you praise your child for their good behavior, or reinforce it with small consequences if they misbehave. This can make them more likely to be a good child again in the future.
A child’s personality and temperament will determine the best approach to take when they break your rules. For instance, one child may be able to focus on their homework after a few general reminders and will do well with time-out, while another will have a meltdown and require more serious discipline.
Getting it right will ensure that your kids are happier, more empathetic, and law-abiding adults, who are able to manage their emotions and respond appropriately to challenges in life. This will help them avoid making bad choices, like consuming too much alcohol and smoking, and can also prevent them from becoming troublesome and unruly.
Be Flexible
When it comes to disciplining kids, being flexible is a critical component of a positive parenting approach. Being too rigid can lead to confusion, power struggles and other issues that can hurt your relationships with children. Being flexible also helps you to stay calm when your children are fighting or protesting about something they are supposed to do.
A parent with a flexible mindset is more likely to make good decisions about their children’s well-being and education. In addition, being flexible reduces the risk of mental health disorders in children and adults such as depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and negative body image.
Flexibility also encourages teamwork. It means that parents don’t make decisions for their own benefit but as a group, taking into account the needs of everyone involved before making any decisions.
Being a flexible parent helps to build trust and empathy in your child’s heart. It also boosts their self-confidence, especially when they have the freedom to express their feelings and opinions about a situation.
The flexible approach to discipline helps you to understand your child’s unique strengths and challenges so that you can emphasize those areas in ways that are genuinely helpful for her. For example, if your child has a strong will, you can reframe this as determination, which is an important character trait she can use to improve her self-discipline and develop the skills that she needs to manage her impulses.
Having flexibility in your parenting is key to raising healthy, happy, and resilient kids who are more likely to succeed in school. Being flexible can help your child avoid depression, anxiety, negative body image, and other psychopathology in adulthood because it teaches them to adapt to challenging environments and to work through difficulties.
Be Patient
Discipline is the process of guiding and redirecting kids in order to teach them how to behave appropriately. This requires that parents set boundaries and expectations, explain the consequences of bad behavior, and be consistent in enforcing those rules and limits.
As much as possible, discipline should be accompanied by positive reinforcement. This encourages kids to continue behaving responsibly when they’re punished or aren’t getting their way.
A mom of three, Katie, is a firm believer in positive reinforcement and has been using it for her children since they were toddlers. She aims for five specific praises for every corrective statement she gives her kids.
“It’s a very subtle thing, but it can have a big impact,” she says. She’ll start the conversation by praising her child for something they did right, like remembering to take their clothes off their backs when she’s picking them up from the floor.
This can be followed by a time-out or a moment for them to cool down and reflect on the situation. Once they’ve calmed down, it’s a good idea to discuss the misbehavior, its underlying cause, and how it can be avoided in the future.
Patience is a skill that can be developed over time. It helps you tolerate and accept setbacks, focus on the positive instead of the negative, and enjoy life much more. It also improves your ability to persevere and make better decisions in the long run.
